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Why Prince Thinks You Need a Cat

Dear Potential Cat Servant,

So, you’re thinking about getting a cat. Well, let me tell you why having a feline like me in your life might not be the worst decision you ever make. Pay close attention; I don’t like to repeat myself.

First off, we cats are masters of low-maintenance living. Unlike those needy dogs who demand constant attention and exercise, we’re perfectly content to spend hours lounging in a sunbeam or taking over your favorite chair. Our idea of exercise is a few minutes of chasing a toy or a bit of scratching on a post. We don’t need walks, and we don’t need you to entertain us every waking moment. So, if you value your free time, a cat is the way to go.

Now, let’s talk about cleanliness. We are self-cleaning creatures. That’s right, you won’t find us rolling in mud or needing a bath every other week. We groom ourselves meticulously, so you don’t have to worry about a stinky pet. Our litter box is our business, and as long as you keep it clean, we’re happy. No need to venture out in the rain or snow to let us do our business.

We also bring a touch of elegance and grace to your home. Have you seen us move? We’re like little furry ninjas, silently stalking through your house with an air of mystery and sophistication. We add a certain charm and aesthetic to any room, whether we’re perched on a windowsill or curled up in a cozy corner. Plus, our purring is practically therapeutic. Studies have shown that the sound of a cat purring can lower stress levels and blood pressure. So really, having a cat is like having a live-in therapist.

Speaking of therapy, did you know that we can help you sleep better? Sure, we might wake you up at 3 AM with our antics, but our presence is known to bring a sense of calm and comfort. We’re like tiny, warm, purring blankets that snuggle up with you at night, making sure you never feel alone.

And then there’s our hunting skills. If you’ve got a problem with pests, we’re natural-born exterminators. Mice, insects, anything that scurries—we’re on it. Consider us your personal pest control squad, always on the lookout for intruders.

Let’s not forget our independence. We don’t need constant coddling. If you have a busy schedule, don’t worry—we can entertain ourselves. Leave us some toys, a scratching post, and a comfy spot to nap, and we’re good. We’re affectionate on our own terms, which means when we do decide to grace you with our presence, it feels that much more special.

Finally, we’re excellent judges of character. If you bring someone new into the house and we don’t like them, there’s probably a good reason. We have a sixth sense about these things, so trust our instincts—they’re usually spot on.

Getting a cat means gaining a low-maintenance, clean, elegant, therapeutic, pest-controlling, independent, and discerning companion. We might be a bit aloof and grumpy at times, but we make up for it with our unique charm and the joy we bring to your life. So, if you’re ready to bow to our whims and appreciate the finer points of feline companionship, then maybe—just maybe—you deserve a cat.

Grumpily yours,

Prince Jansen

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